Sometimes I feel like Judas

A Hypocrite Confesses the Faithfulness of God

Photo by Havva Yilmaz

Sometimes I feel like Moses,
Though I’ve never killed a man,
There’s an anger buried in my heart
That even I don’t understand.

Sometimes I feel like Jacob,
A fraudster and a thief;
The only time I meet with God
is brawling in the street.

Sometimes I feel like Samson,
A threat to my foe and the weak
But I keep tying knots in all of my thoughts,
Hoarding secrets, I know I can’t keep.

Sometimes I feel like King Saul,
Surrounded, yet alone,
striving for significance
while sitting on a throne.

Sometimes I feel like David,
With a giant to my name,
But each time I’m tested, and my flesh gets tempted,
I’m back to confession again.

Sometimes I feel like Martha,
working myself to the bone,
Frustrated, impatient, too distracted to see
That God is at rest in my home.

And sometimes I feel like Judas,
A wretched, helpless soul,
Willing to trade what I believe
for a pocket full of gold.

But you still feel like Jesus,
And that’s never going to change.
Though I keep running out on you,
you don’t run out of grace.

You won’t run out of grace.

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